No more tablets 

It’s been a drastic decision, I’ve researched endlessly and out much thought into this decision. After 13 years on SSRI medication, once on SNRI meds, that now finally it’s time to stop them completely. 
Looking back, they have never provided me with any sense of relief, just a daily pill to swallow that make me think I’ll feel better, but it’s never fully worked, countless hospital visits and dosage adjustments but not once have I thought, you know what I’m better and I feel myself. 
Spent the last few weeks tapering them off to avoid withdrawal, bit anxious and teary but that’s to be expected. 
These SSRI medications block the uptake of serotonin in your brain so it lingers around longer thus helping you feel more content. I assure you that’s not how it’s felt, not even on higher doses just night sweats, nightmares and agitation. So that’s it, I’m not putting these pointless pills into my system any longer. Will it work? Only time can tell, but right now I’m willing to try anything. Plus if there’s not much serotonin to block the reuptake then how does that even work at all. I’m no doctor, but even the doctors don’t even fully understand how they work, you can’t measure someone’s chemical level in their brain, so the pills are just a long guessing game to see what works and what doesn’t. I’m done with the side effects, done with the doctors.  
I’ve done research into supplements to help assist depression along with a healthy diet. I have good quality fish oil, multivitamin, vitamin b complex and amino acid 5Tp. I’m fingers crossed hoping they will help better than the medications ever did. Along with daily exercise and reduced sugar intake,I’m praying this could work. Amino acid 5tp is an important building block for the body forming serotonin. So ultimately instead of taking an SSRI to block the reuptake of serotonin I’m using this 5tp to help me produce my serotonin. The other supplements are ones found to be deficient in those who are depressed. I did briefly consider St Johns Wort but I’d like to try this approach firstly. St Johns Wort does go back to Ancient Greek times but I’m not as convinced on that one. 
This could be a rocky ride. Also please don’t consider this yourself without talking to your doctor. The coming off of any antidepressants can cause unpleasant withdrawals and even suicidal thoughts, so not a decision that can be taken lightly. 
If your in the same boat, do some of your own research. See what could possibly help you if your finding the conventional drugs unhelpful. There’s also other groups of any depressants and light box therapy. Talking therapy of course is good way forward. 
Wish me luck, hope my new path I’ve chose without the prescription pill works. Could save my life, I need to feel happiness and enjoyment in life again before my twenties are gone and I’m left reeling from not doing something sooner. I hope all those suffering the same find some help and advice the same. 

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